my perfect valentine

6

February 2, 2010 by Sarah S.

In my recent post about the gloominess of February, I mentioned something about being perpetually disappointed by Valentine’s Day. HTB read this, of course, and it sparked a discussion that really got me thinking. When I made that remark, I honestly wasn’t thinking “Oh, I always have sucky Valentine’s Days, blah blah.” What I was trying to get across, was that the reality of Valentine’s Day never actually measures up to my ideal of what Valentine’s Day should be.

How … wonky?

Well, not really, when you think about it. I have so many things that I idealize. I create these perfect images of what they should be, and then when reality shows itself to be something different, I’m invariably disappointed. Let’s take, for example, our proposal. I had dreamed about this day for years (three, to be exact) and I wasn’t sure exactly how it would play out, but I had several acceptable versions that included complete and utter surprise, tears, so many roses, champagne, and maybe even a violin or two. In reality… Well, let’s just say I sniffed out the plan and ruined it with my big nose. The ring wasn’t a surprise because we picked it out together (which I prefer, actually!), and I pretty much gave myself a handful of gray hairs freaking out waiting for HTB to get home, because I knew the proposal was coming! Now, would I have changed a thing? No. It’s our story.

And that’s the concept I’m mulling over right now. I really do let myself get caught up in the idyllic. It’s a lose-lose situation, because it’s easy to get disappointed, and even easier to forget to appreciate and love the amazing moments that make up your own life, not the life carefully crafted through television, movies, songs, and books. I think about the things that I hold most dear to my heart, and that fill me with “romantic-ness” in regards to HTB, and they aren’t Valentine’s Day, they aren’t a perfect dozen roses, they aren’t a piece of jewelry or a an expensive dinner. They are little moments, like sitting at the kitchen and playing cards, the 3-4 hour conversations we used to have before we lived together. The hanging up the phone and calling right back to say just “one more thing.” The way he always opens doors for me. How, when I meet one of his co-workers for the first time, they know way too much about me because he’s been chatting me up for so long. It’s the little piece of scrap paper I found, from a very rough patch we had earlier in our relationship, where he bullet-pointed his thoughts: Can’t imagine my life without you. Don’t want to. The unconditional support and the way he may get discouraged by how difficult I can be… but he never gives up. Those are the reasons I love him and those are the things that make me happy at any given point in time. They are what matter.

So, as this particular Valentine’s Day rolls around, I’m going to try something new and not worry about how it should be, and just enjoy how it is. It’s ours and that makes it perfect, for me.

I will now step away from the sappy seat and return to photographing my food.

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6 thoughts on “my perfect valentine

  1. James Sturgis says:

    OH HONEY! SO ROMANTIC!

  2. kstrassel says:

    What a beautiful post, Sarah! And I’m so glad that you’ve started a blog – it takes me back to Greg’s class (but I don’t have to critique it – bonus!) Keep writing!

    Kate Strassel

  3. Anna says:

    I don’t do this as much with Valentine’s day, but I TOTALLY used to do this with my birthday and New Year’s Eve. For the past few years, I’ve just let go of my expectations for those days, and they’ve been better than ever!

    lol– I totally picked out my own ring too! Whatever– I wanted to LOVE it!!!

  4. mrssturgis says:

    Thanks, Kate! Glad you’re reading 🙂

    Anna, Yes! I loved picking out the ring, best way to ensure all goes smoothly 🙂

  5. Jessica says:

    I think you have a great attitude about Valentine’s Day this year! Your fiance sounds like a doll. That scrap of paper you found is so sweet!

    I guess I’m lucky in that I think Valentine’s Day is kinda corny, so I never want to make a big deal out of it (and my boyfriend agrees). It’s fun having a special someone to share it with, of course, but I’ve always been content staying home to make dinner together, have dessert, hang out, etc. I appreciate V-Day for what it represents, but I’d much prefer to have a fancy night out on a regular old weekend that’s not overly busy & over-priced!

  6. mrssturgis says:

    He is a doll 🙂

    I think you have a good attitude about it. Valentine’s Day is a bit silly, I agree — that’s why I need to stop being all wrapped up in it!

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